Candace Plattor will be speaking at a forum on addiction issues at the White Rock Community Centre.

Candace Plattor will be speaking at a forum on addiction issues at the White Rock Community Centre.

Free forum on addiction issues held this month

Therapist Candace Plattor will speak about ways to cope with addicts.

When people call therapist Candace Plattor about someone else’s addiction, she usually asks if they would be willing to go into counselling, too.

Plattor, who will be speaking at a free public forum on addiction issues in White Rock later this month, is author of Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself: The Top 10 Survival Tips for Loving Someone with an Addiction.

She says spouses, relatives and friends of addicts also need help, even if they don’t want to admit it.

In 16 years of treating people for substance abuse and compulsive behaviors in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, Plattor says she regularly received phone calls from stressed-out people seeking help for another person’s problems, unaware of how entangled they had become with the other person’s dysfunction.

“These loved ones were basically addicted to their addict’s addiction,” Plattor says.

Plattor says it can be difficult for someone in a relationship with an addict to figure out what is helping and what is making things worse.

By the time they contact a therapist, she says loved ones have often invested a lot of energy, time and money in a frustrating battle to get the other person to change.

“They’re really trying to make a difference,” Plattor says.

“They are doing the best they can.”

But all too often, what they’re doing isn’t helping.

“It can come as a shock, but I think they know deep down it’s not working.”

Breaking the addiction to the addict’s problems requires recognizing that you can’t help another person if they aren’t ready to be helped and you are unable to look after your own needs, she says.

“Self care doesn’t equal selfishness,” Plattor tells clients.

“Live your own best life.”

It can be a hard notion to accept when someone is focussed on trying to convince someone to change their self-destructive behavior, she says.

“You can’t change anyone else,” Plattor warns.

“You have no control over anyone but yourself.”

On Wednesday, May 30, Plattor will be speaking at the White Rock Community Centre presentation room at 15154 Russell Ave.

The free 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. presentation is a presentation by Sources counseling and addiction services and the City of Surrey as part of Substance Use Awareness Week (May 27 to June 2).

The Sources counseling and addiction services team will be on hand.

To register for the event, email or phone 604-538-2522 ext 233.

For more information about Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself: The Top 10 Survival Tips for Loving Someone with an Addiction visit


Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

A heavy police presence was on scene on Dec. 28, 2017 following the shooting death on Bates Road in Abbotsford of Alexander Blanarou, 24, of Surrey. (Abbotsford News file photo)
Three men charged with Abbotsford shooting death of Surrey man

Alexander Blanarou, 24, was killed in a rural area on Dec. 28, 2017

A criminal trial for Robert Boule (inset), the owner of the Smuggler’s Inn, is to begin in August 2021, following a failed application to strike down immigration-act provisions that he is charged under. (Photo courtesy of The Northern Light newspaper)
Blaine inn owner’s challenge of immigration act fails

Robert Boule’s trial on human-smuggling charges set to begin August 2021

Surrey Little Theatre is located on 184th Street at Fraser Highway. (File photo: Tom Zillich)
Surrey Little Theatre, Langley Players look to merge as single company at 200th Street theatre

A ‘really exciting’ development for the volunteer-run theatre companies

A B.C. Ambulance Service paramedic wearing a face mask to curb the spread of COVID-19 moves a stretcher outside an ambulance at Royal Columbia Hospital, in New Westminster, B.C., on Sunday, November 29, 2020. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
B.C. records deadliest weekend of COVID-19 pandemic with 46 deaths; more than 2,300 cases

Provincial health officer Dr. Bonnie Henry provides COVID-19 update

A family emerged with a purchase at the Tannenbaum Tree Farm at 5398 252 St in Aldergrove on Sunday, Nov. 29, 2020 (Dan Ferguson/Langley Advance Times)
Christmas tree season is off to an early start

People are ‘bored’ with staying home due to COVID-19 and want to decorate early, farm owner believes

B.C. researchers launch study to test kids, young adults for COVID-19 antibodies

Kids and youth can often be asymptomatic carriers of the novel coronavirus

A convoy of seven pickup trucks, six of which were hauling boats, makes its way around the Chilliwack Law Courts on Dec. 1, 2020. (Jenna Hauck/ Chilliwack Progress)
First court date for Fraser River anglers ticketed during demonstration fishery

Convoy of trucks circled the courthouse in downtown Chilliwack Tuesday honking their support

Cannabis bought in British Columbia (Ashley Wadhwani/Black Press Media)
Is it time to start thinking about greener ways to package cannabis?

Packaging suppliers are still figuring eco-friendly and affordable packaging options that fit the mandates of Cannabis Regulations

A sign is seen this past summer outside the Yunesit’in Government office west of Williams Lake reminding visitors and members to stay safe amid the COVID-19 pandemic. (Rebecca Dyok photo)
B.C. First Nation leaders await privacy commissioner decision on COVID-19 information

Release of life-saving data cannot wait, says coalition of First Nations

MLA Jennifer Whiteside is B.C.’s new minister of education. She is speaking out against Chilliwack school trustee Barry Neufeld and asking him to resign. (Black Press)
New education minister calls on Chilliwack trustee to resign

Whiteside echoes former minister’s promise to look at options to remove Barry Neufeld

Peter Beckett. ~ File photo
Supreme Court of Canada to decide if it will hear appeal in 2010 wife murder trial

Peter Beckett has stood trial twice for murder in connection with the death of his wife, Laura Letts-Beckett

Tabor Home in Abbotsford. (Ben Lypka/Abbotsford News)
B.C.’s largest COVID-19 care-home outbreak records 19 deaths, 147 cases

Tabor Home in Abbotsford has been battling outbreak since Nov. 4

Most Read