PENINSULA ZOOMERS: The secret to lasting love

Respect, support go a long way in successful marriages.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…

I feel confident despite her strict Victorian upbringing, Elizabeth Barrett Browning could easily have counted 50 ways she cherished her beloved husband, Robert Browning.

Had she not died an untimely death, their marriage would surely have lasted 50 years.

For us Zoomers, we are more likely to quote Paul Simon’s Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover.

Like so many baby boomers, we are opting out of the bonds of matrimony that bound us but no longer serve us. Marriage is not necessarily a covenant with God as an acquaintance suggested in our brief conversation in the Save-On Foods parking lot.

We are rushing to the divorce court in droves, preferring a life of singledom over servitude; of adventure instead of adversity; of reinvention rather than resignation.

What makes a marriage last at all, let alone 50 years?

In a recent issue of Zoomer magazine, an article by Leanne Delap entitled Making Love Last speaks to the modern-day love match of actress Candice Bergen and her late husband, French film director Louis Malle.

Bergen has written a book called A Fine Romance. Their love match was also abruptly halted by an untimely death.

In one of his love letters to her during their many separations as a result of their individual, hectic careers, Malle says “Let’s get together, my love (and) experience quiet, isolation, silence together. And let’s love each other, let me enjoy what I miss so much when I am away from you.”

Ah, the nostaligic love letter… tender words that travel from one’s heart to pen then paper to be savoured like a great wine. A far cry from a cursory text!

One way to make a marriage last. As well, trying hard to making each other happy. A large dose of passion.  Respect. And separate interests.

A happy marriage… easier said than done.

Or is it?

I know of a local love match that has lasted 50 years. Neither person has celebrity status nor has written a memoir. But their love and marriage has endured since 1965, when an adorable, rebellious 18-year-old girl eloped with her handsome man of 21. They crossed the border and got married.

Although they both grew up in White Rock, they moved to Calgary to start their married life, working tirelessly in a business they started together.

Hard work, endless hours and teamwork.

However, things didn’t work out as they had planned.  Broke and bankrupt, they returned to White Rock in the late 1980s in their Cadillac with their two young children in tow.

Undaunted by this setback, they started over and started a new business. Her father had taught her, “There is no such word as can’t.”

Again, they worked indefatigably with determination as a team.

Today they are successful and financially secure and could both retire if they wanted to but choose not to. He golfs. He has an excellent handicap.She runs. Marathons.

Her mother’s words accompany her every time she earns another medal: “Never let age be an excuse not to do something.”

In April, she completed the Boston Marathon for the third time (or was it the fourth?) and came in 22nd in her age group.

He cooks – and what a chef! He makes the best crème caramel this side of Paris. Personally, I think that is the secret to their long-term marriage! They like each other and support and respect each other.

Happy 50th wedding anniversary, Lynne and Hugh.

How do I love thee? These two lovebirds can tell you.

April Lewis is the local communications director for CARP, a national group committed to a ‘New Vision of Aging for Canada.’ She writes monthly.

Just Posted

Singer Bif Naked among speakers at West Coast Women’s Show

Annual event takes place Oct. 18-20 at Tradex in Abbotsford

White Rock house targeted in 2016 drug raid forfeited to province

Supreme Court proceedings regarding Parker Street property favour director of civil forfeiture

Surrey landlord’s petition to overturn RTB decision fails

Case involved former tenant evicted from basement suite on grounds his landlord needed it for family

SURREY EVENTS: ‘Classic Scary Movie Marathon’ for Halloween, and more

Concerts, plays, fundraisers and other events in our weekly guide for Surrey

Halloween Calendar

Family friendly events happening around Surrey

Scheer, Trudeau, Singh haggle over potential minority government outcome

If you believe the polls, it appears the Liberals and Conservatives are neck-and-neck

‘The more you test, the more you find’: Beef recalls a sign of success, experts say

Despite appearances, experts say a recent rise in major recalls is not a sign of food supply problems

Workers at four Vancouver hotels ratify contract with higher wages, job security

Unite Here Local 40 president Zailda Chan says it’s the first hotel strike in Vancouver in nearly two decades

Japanese buyer expands wood pellet contract with B.C.’s Pinnacle

Mitsui and Co. increases contract with Interior energy producer

ELECTION 2019: Have Justin Trudeau’s Liberals really cut middle-class taxes?

Conservative Andrew Scheer vows to cut bottom bracket, NDP’s Jagmeet Singh targets wealth tax

B.C. RCMP officer suing the force for malicious prosecution

Cpl. Tammy Hollingsworth cleared of wrongdoing after misconduct hearing

UPDATE: Vehicle located and driver arrested in relation to fatal hit-and-run

Male pedestrian in his 50s died after being struck by vehicle on Highway 11 in Abbotsford

Talk to your kids about vaping, B.C.’s top doctor says

B.C. health officials have discovered the first vaping-related illness in the province

Alberta truck convoy plans counter-protest at climate rally with Greta Thunberg

United We Roll organizer says similar protest planned for Swedish teen’s event in Edmonton

Most Read

l -->