COLUMN: Social serenity trumps presidential debate

Donald Trump's run for the White House has made it much easier to weed out 'deplorables' in our own lives, writes columnist Nick Greenizan.

Dear Donald,

Can I call you Donald? Do you prefer The Donald, as you’ve become known to some? Mr. Trump just seems so formal, and more befitting a courtroom setting than two guys just sitting around shooting the breeze. I bet you’re Don or Donny or Big T in the locker room of your hoity-toity Manhattan racquet club, right?

Anyways Donny, I wanted to thank you. No, really.

It’s not because I necessarily agree or disagree with your political ideologies, nor is it a result of your attitude towards women or Mexicans or Muslims or the less-fortunate. It’s not even because of your hair – as glorious as it is – or your tax-dodging or your business acumen (Selling mail-order steak through an electronics-store franchise was particularly visionary). It’s not even a result of your hatred of my profession or your penchant for blaming the fifth estate every time something doesn’t go your way.

Sure, that misdirected agenda of yours has often boiled over to the point where you’ve encouraged supporters to commit acts of violence against certain reporters, but that’s just part of your crusade to improve America. I get it.

I know you didn’t say those things on those tapes. That could be any billionaire’s voice.

No, I need to thank you for helping me trim down my list of friends and acquaintances – even if by just a few.

You see, since you’ve decided to run for president in what I can only assume began as a publicity stunt that caught a little too much fire, it’s become much easier to identify the racists, sexists and other -ists in my life and eliminate them.

No, no, I don’t mean eliminate them in the way you suggested those “second-amendment people” eliminate your political adversary, I just mean I was able to disassociate from them, either in real life, online or both.

A quick Facebook search of your name gave me a list of the guilty parties who were fans of your work, be it your various real-estate successes – you still have a place in Atlantic City? – The Apprentice or, of course, the reality show that is your run at the presidency of the United States.

It took no more than a few clicks of a mouse to get all the Trump out of my life, and let me tell you, it’s been glorious since. No more “Hillary is the real crook!” posts; no more links to conspiracy theorist websites; no more “I don’t want a woman running my country!” screeds from some of my more misguided American friends.

My newsfeed has truly been made great again, and I have you to thank.

(On that note, perhaps my next letter of thanks should be addressed to Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. That ‘mute’ function is a beautiful thing.)

Oh sure, I could try to reason with these people, rather than just cut them off. Maybe they’d even be able to persuade me onto Team Trump after a number of well thought out, reasonable arguments. (No, really!)

But I much prefer your method – simply stick to your guns no matter what less-than-crooked facts are thrown back in your face. Simply stating “No, I’m right” repeatedly, no matter what? Why haven’t more politicians thought of that?! It’s a great slogan. Let’s get some T-shirts made up.

Granted, Donny, your run at the White House isn’t the only way I’ve been able to spot deplorables in my Facebook account. Before you came along, there was the “What about white people who are shot by cops?” crowd, and the “vaccines cause autism” truthers before that.

And of course, there’s always a few people who want the Syrians to “go back where they came from.” Can’t wait for you to fix that problem, Don. Let me know how it goes.

Anyway, just wanted to say thanks. If you’re ever in the neighbourhood, give me a shout and come by for a beer.

Bring some of those steaks.

Nick Greenizan is a reporter at the Peace Arch News.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

The emergency department at Peace Arch Hospital in White Rock, B.C., in July 2020. (Black Press Media)
Peace Arch Hospital Foundation reaches $12 million goal

New operating suites to open this fall

The RCMP logo is seen outside Royal Canadian Mounted Police “E” Division Headquarters, in Surrey, B.C., on April 13, 2018. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
Surrey RCMP asking for dash-cam video of ‘suspicious incident’

Incident involves a newer model Toyota Rav 4 SUV

Surrey RCMP are investigating a “serious” collision near Cloverdale Saturday evening. (Curtis Kreklau photo)
Surrey RCMP investigating ‘serious’ collision in Cloverdale

Witness says vehicle collided with utility pole at approximately 9:30 p.m.

An animated Gordie Hogg introduces his 'Community Connections' videos. (YouTube screenshot)
Community Connections: Gordie Hogg speaks with Denise Stevenson

Former mayor, MP began posting conversations on YouTube in June

Software engineer Shaimma Yehia, 40, has been forced to re-skill during the COVID-19 pandemic after more than six years of unsuccessfully applying for jobs in B.C.’s tech industry. (Submitted photo/Shaimma Yehia)
Why skilled immigrant women continue to be shut out of B.C.’s booming tech sector

Experienced software engineer Shaimma Yehia, 40, hasn’t found a job since she migrated to Canada 6 years ago

Ron Sivorot, business director at Kennametal’s Langford site, the Greater Victoria facility that made a component being used on NASA’s Perseverance rover on Mars. (Jake Romphf, Black Press Media)
NASA’s Perseverance Mars rover digging in with B.C.-made part

Kennametal’s Langford plant’s tooth blank is helping the rover’s drill collect rock cores

A woman walks through Toronto’s financial district on Monday, July 30, 2018. A new poll suggests most Canadians believe there’s still a long way to go to achieve gender equality in this country. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Graeme Roy
Canadians, especially women, say gender equality not achieved in Canada: Poll

Poll results themselves underscore the challenge, with more men believing equality had been achieved

Cannabis bought in British Columbia (Ashley Wadhwani/Black Press Media)
Is it time to start thinking about greener ways to package cannabis?

Packaging suppliers are still figuring eco-friendly and affordable packaging options that fit the mandates of Cannabis Regulations

This image provided by Harpo Productions shows Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex, left, in conversation with Oprah Winfrey. (Joe Pugliese/Harpo Productions via AP)
Race, title and anguish: Meghan and Harry explain royal rift

Meghan said she struggled with concerns within the royal family about her son’s skin colour

Const. Allan Young. Photo: Abbotsford Police Department
Manslaughter charge laid in Nelson death of Abbotsford police officer

Allan Young died after an incident in downtown Nelson last summer

The Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine is administered to a personal support worker at the Ottawa Hospital on Tuesday, Dec. 15, 2020 in Ottawa. Doctors in Alberta have signed an open letter asking for prioritized vaccination of health-care staff who work directly with patients on dedicated COVID-19 units. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Adrian Wyld
COVID vaccines for seniors in B.C.: Here’s how to sign up

Seniors 90+, Indigenous seniors 65+ and Indigenous Elders can book starting March 8

The Kimber family of Boston Bar lost their home in a fire. Blaine Kimber’s daughter created a fundraiser to help rebuild the home with the goal of $100,000. (Screenshot/GoFundMe)
Fundraiser created for Boston Bar family that lost everything in weekend fire

Witnesses say the Kimber family escaped the fire without injury, but their home is a total loss

Most Read