LETTERS: Fixing mistakes part of maturity

Editor:

Re: Family lessons from grad camp, June 3 letters.

Editor:

Re: Family lessons from grad camp, June 3 letters.

I would like to answer letter-writer Bernard Abelson’s question: “where are the parents of these kids?” (Grad camp leaves mark, May 27).

The majority of us, this week, were at Chandos Pattison auditorium.

I cannot speak for all the parents there but, as for myself, I sat in my seat awed and inspired as I watched our future walk across the stage and collect their diplomas. I heard about the amazing accomplishments of many of these students and the fantastic goals and aspirations they have set out for their future.

Does the letter writer know these kids? I suspect not. But I know a great many of them. The assumption that they are “self-entitled” is no more based in fact than the assumption that “I am sure there will be no consequences at home.”

You see, I also know the parents. Yes, we were disappointed by our kids’ actions. Yes we were embarrassed and angry. But who is he to suggest we did not discuss our outrage with our kids and mete out appropriate punishment.

As many have no doubt read by now, a group of kids and – more than one – adults returned to the camp site with the assistance of the Four Wheel Drive Association of BC to fix their mistake (Grads return to scene after camp fallout, June 3). Others, I assure, faced consequences at home.

As the head of the FWDA put it so well: “Our view is most kids are really good kids.” I couldn’t agree more.

It’s clear that some will not be satisfied without a public shaming of these kids and some kind of repercussion that would permanently affect their future negatively, such as suspension or expulsion.

I come from the school of parenting that understands that shame and humiliation does not result in positive behavioural changes. I believe in allowing people to fix their mistakes.

It’s too bad the many naysayers in the public and the principal of Elgin Park are so willing to label these kids as “entitled and asocial” based on this one mistake, without giving them the opportunity to make amends and show their true nature as thoughtful, accomplished leaders of tomorrow.

 

Susy Tucker, White Rock

 

 

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