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PENINSULA ZOOMER: There’s an app for that, but I don’t want it

‘What is with this app-a-phobia I seem to have,’ wonders columnist April Lewis

By now you have probably downloaded your proof of vaccination app so you can visit your favourite restaurant or attend a live sporting event.

I remember feeling the anxiety before attempting to download the app as I anticipated problems, but found none. It was actually effortless.

A sigh of relief.

As I am technically challenged, or an app luddite, my blood pressure rises when I am told “there’s an app for that.”

I remember going downtown with my BFFs for lunch where I confidently pulled into my usual parkade only to find we needed an app to pay for the parking. In horror, I hopped back in my car and made a beeline for the exit.

What is with this app-a-phobia I seem to have?

I am already using apps without even realizing I am. Gmail and Facebook are examples I use daily.

Simply put, an app which is short for mobile application, is a type of computer program or software that allows you to perform specific tasks on your mobile device such as phone or laptop.

So what’s the problem, you ask.

Well I am an old-fashioned gal who is used to doing things a certain way – my way. But I know I must adapt.

As I already said, downloading the vaccine app was a breeze. By the way, I used it at a local restaurant and was met by a charming masked server who asked to see my app and ID. I gladly proffered both to her and was seated. As the restaurant was empty, I engaged in a pleasant conversation with her only to find out that she is unvaccinated. I couldn’t get over the irony of her asking me for proof of vaccination.

But I digress.

I went to another restaurant one day and decided to put on my big girl panties and use the QR code on the table to access the menu. No luck with my Android phone so we tried my partner’s iPhone. No luck there either. So I asked the server for assistance and she, too, was unsuccessful.

A paper menu, if you please.

As a season ticket holder for the BC Lions since 1986, my guy is no longer able to receive a real ticket or scannable lanyard anymore. He had to download an app to access his ticket. What a frustrating experience that was for him. Turns out, he wasted his time as the Lions lost the last two games we attended.

But this is the same fella who plays Candy Crush on his phone, which, I remind him, is an app.

As for my daily newspapers delivered to my door, I am inundated with requests to download the app and access the paper on my tablet. I don’t want to do that as I like to hold my newspaper in my aging hands and read it cover to cover with my aging eyes.

We just purchased a fancy sound system for our TV which the installer said we could access from our phone. Just download the app. I don’t want to download the app, I whined, as I simply want to use my TV remote.

Insert stomping of feet here.

But I am making great strides as we have decided to take our first winter trip next month and I downloaded the ArriveCan app with ease.

My daughters are so proud of me as they love apps. In fact, as they are both trying to get pregnant, they are using an app to track their ovulation.

And to think I conceived both of them the old-fashioned way – no app required.

April Lewis is the local communications director for CARP, a national group committed to a ‘New Vision of Aging for Canada.’ She writes monthly.

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