PENINSULA ZOOMERS: Wrapping up the year with a poem

Columnist April Lewis pens a rhyming review of 2016

Here’s a Christmas poem for my readers galore

My attempt as a bard, but wait, there is more

I thought I would share this year in review

It’s not like I have something better to do.

 

The year started out with Mike Duffy on trial

Thirty-one charges which took quite a while

A corpulent man not exactly quick-witted

But nevertheless, our Mike was acquitted.

 

And the Syrian war…please make it stop!

As Trudeau greets refugees with a planned photo-op.

With tears in his eyes and his quivering lip

He also weeps for Gord of The Tragically Hip.

 

Our beloved Queen Liz turned 90 this year

With no plans of ending her majestic career

As our province welcomed William and Kate

The obsequious Christy licked off their plate.

 

The world was stunned when Britain said goodbye

To the European nation, without a bat of an eye

The departure was known as the acronym Brexit

The closest of votes which foretold of their exit.

 

And speaking of break-ups, there’s Angelina and Brad

We thought they were happy…I think we were had.

But do we even care about her or about him

When we can focus our attention on Kanye and Kim?

 

The Olympics featured Rio on the world stage

While the Zika virus dominated the front page

And Penny, our swimmer, brought home all the gold

Tho’ poverty in the favelas remains rampant I’m told.

 

And what about the fires in our beloved Fort Mac

The denizens of Alberta defiant, fighting back

But these resilient Albertans will rise up once more

To fight for their pipelines which I’m sure they adore.

 

Kinder Morgan and tankers headline the news

Either way someone wins and others will lose.

Surely it’s better than trains with coal and the dust

But cruise up our coastline with your oil if you must.

 

The U.S. election put American voters to the test

A disreputable gong show which we grew to detest.

But democracy has spoken and so it shall be

Hello to Tweedledum and good-bye to Tweedledee.

 

After 108 years, Chicago Cubs won the game

Baseball’s World Series… their team’s claim to fame.

And Ottawa’s win of the elusive Grey Cup

With their elderly quarterback, the fans lapped it up.

 

The Tory leadership race is a dissonant song

A slate of 14 candidates including Michael Chong

Our own Dianne Watts should have entered the breach

She’s Canadian enough to throw out Kellie Leitch.

 

And then there was the death of the poet Leonard Cohen

Who sensed the end was near but embraced where he was goin’

He asked, “You Want It Darker” before the “Lord of Song”

Regaled us with “Hallelujah” and then he was gone.

 

And can you believe Time’s ‘Person of the Year’

A man we could ridicule or easily fear

Trump’ll be running the greatest nation on earth

With a mane of a lion and no proof of his worth.

 

And closer to home, the year wasn’t much better

With the fires at Five Corners and the days getting wetter

The fuss over dirty water and highrises to come

I’d much rather sing Pa Rum Pa Pa Pum.

 

Instead of a fruitless search for a Hatchimal toy

I can think of a better way to bring yourself joy

Be loving and grateful as the holidays are here

And congratulate yourself… you survived another year!

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

See you in 2017.

April Lewis is the local communications director for CARP, a national group committed to a ‘New Vision of Aging for Canada.’ She writes monthly.

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