A still frame from the 1949 MGM musical, Neptune’s Daughter. Curiously the song Baby It’s Cold Outside – which won the Academy Award for best song – replaced another, “(I’d Like to Get You on a) Slow Boat to China,” as the latter was deemed inappropriate by the Hayes Office. (MGM photo)

A still frame from the 1949 MGM musical, Neptune’s Daughter. Curiously the song Baby It’s Cold Outside – which won the Academy Award for best song – replaced another, “(I’d Like to Get You on a) Slow Boat to China,” as the latter was deemed inappropriate by the Hayes Office. (MGM photo)

COLUMN: Time for one last verse as Christmas nears

Newspaper writer aims – in penultimate column – for a unique, non-controversial way to sign off

Those who have glanced at this opinion column over the past 12 years will likely have noticed it typically has a controversial bent.

As in, my writing focuses on politicians and the media and (other?) societal ills…

Truth be told, I’m not an overly political person in private life, but I’m encouraged in my position as a newspaper editor to tackle such subjects on our opinion page, and I’ve tried to take a unique look at the odd goings-on around our community and in the world that I think might need a little tweak.

Today will be different. As I prepare to wrap up my time at Peace Arch News just in time for Christmas (yes, seems I broke a time record here as editor), I would like to write this penultimate column in celebration of the season – and without hint of controversy.

And what better way to do it but in song; a duet, if you will, between you and me.

I know. Crazy, right? I haven’t heard of a print columnist doing this either. It’s about time.

And please don’t worry if you can’t sing. I’m told by my coworkers that I’ve been a little pitchy myself (at least, I think that’s what they said), and others won’t hear either of us, so long as we both have our headphones on.

Let’s start with my second-favourite holiday duet of all time – a sort of call-and-response. You go first with the phrase “I really can’t stay” and I’ll follow with the title lyrics “Baby, it’s cold outside.”

Ready? And a one, and a two, and a one-two-thr – STOP!

I’m sorry. It’s just been brought to my attention that Baby It’s Cold Outside IS considered controversial, in this modern age.

READ: ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ yanked from some Canadian radio stations

Silly me. I’ve always viewed it as a quirky, romantic back-and-forth between two soon-to-be lovers in a bygone era, she playing coy and he making his interest known. Instead, it turns out, it’s to be sung with her being afraid – very afraid – and he in a menacing manner:

I’ve got to get home (Baby you’ll freeze out there)

Say lend me a comb? (It’s up to your knees out there!)

Ah… there it is. I hear it now.

But to be fair to us few remaining fans of the classic, I do hope we’re viewed as pro-victim in this time of #metoo. Seriously. At long last, society has no appetite for unwanted attention – and victimization of any sort is unacceptable. Full stop.

Of course, I also hope we are also mature enough to spot the not-so-subtle differences between mutually flirtatious courtship and unwelcome advances. Hint: For those who can’t, consider your advances unwelcome.

Regardless, in the spirit of non-controversy – and for now – I’ll give up on Baby It’s Cold Outside.

Given the limited space left, I think we’ll have just enough room to begin what is my all-time favourite holiday duet. Allow me to kick this one off:

It was Christmas Eve, babe, in the drunk tank…

Lance Peverley is the editor of Peace Arch News.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

 

COLUMN: Time for one last verse as Christmas nears

Just Posted

Police on the scene of a homicide in South Surrey’s Morgan Heights neighbourhood earlier this month. (Tracy Holmes photo)
Crime Stoppers received more than 500 tips related to gang activity in 2020: report

Metro Vancouver organization “urging local residents to keep providing anonymous tips”

In 2017, a member of the Disneyana Fan Club curated a small Community Treasures exhibit at the Museum of Surrey about the early days of Disney and the cartoonist Walt Disney. The museum is now accepting applications for its 2022 Community Treasures exhibition. (Photo: Submitted)
Museum of Surrey wants to spotlight local organizations and clubs

Museum now accepting applications for its 2022 Community Treasures exhibit

The cover of Golf 101 with Bob Dimpleton (left), an instructional book created by South Surrey golf pro Mark Kuhn (inset). Right, a page from the book detailing what to do if your ball lands on the cart path. (Contributed images)
South Surrey golf pro releases new edition of popular instructional book

Mark Kuhn’s Dimpleton family returns in updated Golf 101 e-book

An electric vehicle charging station in front of Hope’s municipal hall, district hall. (Photo: Emelie Peacock/Hope Standard)
40 electric vehicle charging stations planned for Surrey

Funding coming from all three levels of government

Musician Dana Vande is seen in a screenshot from a music video on Youtube. Vande recently released a pro-lockdown track in response to an Eric Clapton and Van Morrison anti-lockdown track.
Cloverdale musician writes pandemic response song to Van Morrison and Eric Clapton

Dana Vande answers a Clapton-Morrison anti-lockdown track with a pro-lockdown track

Provincial health officer Dr. Bonnie Henry prepares a daily update on the coronavirus pandemic, April 21, 2020. (B.C. Government)
B.C. adjusts COVID-19 vaccine rollout for delivery slowdown

Daily cases decline over weekend, 31 more deaths

A pinniped was attacked by an unseen predator off the shores of Dallas Road Monday night. (Courtesy of Steffani Cameron)
VIDEO: Seal hunting a fish off Dallas Road sparks social media debate

Victoria woman captures footage of pinniped activity off Dallas Road

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau provides an update on the COVID-19 pandemic from Rideau Cottage in Ottawa on Tuesday, Jan. 11, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau provides an update on the COVID-19 pandemic from Rideau Cottage in Ottawa on Tuesday, Jan. 11, 2021. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick
Trudeau vows to keep up the fight to sway U.S. on merits of Keystone XL pipeline

Canada’s pitch to the Biden team has framed Keystone XL as a more environmentally friendly project than original

Cannabis bought in British Columbia (Ashley Wadhwani/Black Press Media)
Is it time to start thinking about greener ways to package cannabis?

Packaging suppliers are still figuring eco-friendly and affordable packaging options that fit the mandates of Cannabis Regulations

The British Columbia Hotel Association (BCHA) sent out a sharply worded release late last week, in which it noted that the Tourism Industry Association of BC recently obtained a ‘legal opinion’ on the matter (Alex Passini photo)
Hotel associations push back against any potential ban on inter-provincial, non-essential travel restrictions

B.C. Premier John Horgan is seeking legal advice on banning non-essential travel

Abbotsford’s Canwest Aero Inc. is offering two pilot training scholarships to celebrate the company’s opening at the Abbotsford International Airport
Abbotsford aviation company offering two free pilot scholarships

Canwest Aero Inc. giving away pair of scholarships valued at $2,500 each

JaHyung Lee, “Canada’s oldest senior” at 110 years old, received his first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine on Thursday, Jan. 14, 2021. He lives at Amenida Seniors Community in Newton. (Submitted photo: Amenida Seniors Community)
COVID rapid tests in long-term care key during vaccine rollout: B.C. care providers

‘Getting kits into the hands of care providers should be a top priority,’ says former Health Minister

Island Health chief medical officer Dr. Richard Stanwick receives a first dose of Pfizer vaccine, Dec. 22, 2020. (B.C. government)
B.C. turns to second doses of COVID-19 vaccine as supplies slow

Pfizer shipments down until February, to be made up in March

B.C.’s Ministry of Advanced Education and Skills Training announced funding to train community mental health workers at four B.C. post-secondary institutions. (Stock photo)
B.C. funding training of mental health workers at four post-secondary institutions

Provincial government says pandemic has intensified need for mental health supports

Most Read