COLUMN: Wait for a Senate seat may be in vain

If journalism doesn't work out, Peace Arch News editor Lance Peverley has eyes on another line of work – that of a Senator.

Think I’ve finally found my third calling.

After somewhat dubiously successful careers in both print journalism and the movie industry – neither of which explicitly required so much as a passing grade to break into – I’ve seen my future, and it’s as nepotistic as the other two combined.

Politics.

Not just any branch of politics, mind you.

I don’t have the wherewithal or charisma to actually sit through an election, being judged by the likes of you. (No offence intended. Just trying to prepare the accepted attitude once I’m officially in office.)

Nor do I want one of those plum partisan bureaucratic jobs that are handed out and then rewarded with gargantuan pay raises. Too often they are then taken away at the first whiff of scandal – albeit most with the offer of a nice, fat cheque to cushion the fall.

No, I want to be a senator!

Life-long employment until age 75, six-figure wages and all the perks and benefits you can have your staff jot down on a claim form.

You know the job description: “sober second thought” yada yada yada…

Me? I can be as sober as the next senator.

And thought? I have one of those nearly every day.

Get this: attendance at Senate functions isn’t even mandatory. To get the boot, you’d have to really, really, really embarrass your colleagues.

It’s almost criminal.

I certainly meet the minimum requirements:

• at least 30? Check.

• residency in B.C.? Check. (My primary residence, second residence and summer home are all nicely concentrated in less than a city block, thank you much.)

• being a “person”? Check. (This was apparently important prior to 1929, when there was some debate over whether women were considered “persons” and eligible.)

My understanding is that, in theory, I’d have to find favour with the Queen in order to be appointed to the Senate.

Good news is, I’m a fan. I even keep copies of her picture in my pocket, not to mention finding them in between the sofa cushions, when I’m running a little low.

But in practice, I guess, it’s not so much the Queen’s call – or even her designate, the Governor General – so much as the prime minister’s.

And this is where my prospects get a little shaky.

Turns out, as a journalist, I’m often tasked with taking a step back and reporting and/or analyzing news items with an attempt to see it through objective eyes.

And successfully doing so often makes those with highly subjective views none too happy with the result.

Just ask Mike Duffy and Pamela Wallin, who made earlier careers of asking political personalities the tough questions on TV.

Of course, Duffy and Wallin went on to become Conservative appointees to the Senate. They must have done something right, at least in the eyes of the PM.

And the rest of their political and journalistic careers, as they say, is history.

My own record of objectivity, I think, is distinctive from theirs.

Robocalls, travel expenses, internal party politics, Senate breaches… no, I don’t think the prime minister will come knocking at my door anytime soon.

I think my third career has stalled before it got off the ground.

Back to journalism, for now…

But in case I need a fourth calling, I could make a career of my first after-high-school job. Anybody know how the video-rental industry’s faring?

Lance Peverley is editor of the Peace Arch News.

Just Posted

Rahim Manji owns and operates the Hollywood 3 Cinemas in Newton, along with the Caprice in South Surrey, a theatre in Duncan and another in Pitt Meadows. “I think right now it feels different than last June, it just does,” Manji said. “I’m a lot more optimistic, with more people calling, more people out and getting vaccinated, so I think the comfort level is a lot better.” (Photo: Tom Zillich)
Surrey movie theatre operators reopen and rejoice, even with 50-max capacity

‘We have been one of the hardest-hit industries’

A sign warning of a pack of coyotes hangs near 2660 Croydon Dr. (Aaron Hinks photo)
South Surrey woman sounds alarm after encounter with pack of coyotes

Susan Martin said three full-grown coyotes were lurking around her home

(Delta Police Department photo)
Delta police searching for Surrey woman missing at Centennial Beach

Wenyan Lan, 54, reported missing when she didn’t come home from a crabbing/clam digging trip June 14

Ian MacDonald, spokesman for Surrey Police Service. (Submitted photo)
Surrey Police Service launches public consultation campaign

This is to help the SPS form its first strategic plan

Outdoor vendors at the Cloverdale Flea Market are seen in this bird’s eye view image from the flea market’s Facebook page.
Cloverdale Flea Market to reopen

Market to open June 20 after being closed since Nov. 2020

People watch a car burn during a riot following game 7 of the NHL Stanley Cup final in downtown Vancouver, B.C., in this June 15, 2011 photo. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Geoff Howe
10 years ago: Where were you during the 2011 Vancouver Stanley Cup Riots?

Smashed-in storefronts, looting, garbage can fires and overturned cars some of the damage remembered today

(Black Press Media file)
Dirty money: Canadian currency the most germ-filled in the world, survey suggests

Canadian plastic currency was found to contain 209 bacterial cultures

(pixabay file shot)
B.C. ombudsperson labels youth confinement in jail ‘unsafe,’ calls for changes

Review states a maximum of 22 hours for youth, aged 12 from to 17, to be placed in solitary

Cannabis bought in British Columbia (Ashley Wadhwani/Black Press Media)
Is it time to start thinking about greener ways to package cannabis?

Packaging suppliers are still figuring eco-friendly and affordable packaging options that fit the mandates of Cannabis Regulations

Eleonore Alamillo-Laberge, 6, reads a book in Ottawa on Monday, June 12, 2017. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Sean Kilpatrick
Parents will need to fight ‘COVID learning slump’ over summer: B.C. literacy experts

Parents who play an active role in educating their children this summer can reverse the slump by nearly 80%, says Janet Mort

The border crossing on Highway 11 in Abbotsford heading south (file)
Western premiers call for clarity, timelines on international travel, reopening rules

Trudeau has called Thursday meeting, premiers say they expect to leave that meeting with a plan

The B.C. government’s vaccine booking website is busy processing second-dose appointments, with more than 76 per cent of adults having received a first dose. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jonathan Hayward
B.C.’s COVID-19 infections, hospitalizations stable for Tuesday

108 new confirmed cases, 139 in hospital, 39 in intensive care

A worker, at left, tends to a customer at a cosmetics shop amid the COVID-19 pandemic Thursday, May 20, 2021, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez)
Half of cosmetics sold in Canada, U.S. contain toxic chemicals: study

Researchers found that 56% of foundations and eye products contain high levels of fluorine

Most Read