The critters ain’t starvin’


Why, when people are politely asked not to feed the squirrels, do they continue to do so?


Why, when people are politely asked not to feed the squirrels, do they continue to do so?

When asked not to leave food out on their sundecks, they do. When signs are put up and minutes are printed with the same message – adding fines – they are ignored.

Any food attracts rodents and their associates: raccoons, crows, wasps, seagulls, mice, bats – yes, bats; my cat, Ed, caught one – and birds, whose population is now down by one after squeezing itself through the hole in my screened-in deck, put there by an inquiring squirrel who reversed direction immediately on finding a grinning Ed staring back at him. The bird was not so lucky.

And, bringing up the rear my all time favorite scavengers… ants.

I have better things to do than track down a wobbling line of fat ants that, when blasted with Raid, do not explode as in the TV commercial or get hysterical and make a run for it. They play dead and are rescued and resuscitated by their own medi-vac team. How do I know this? They are gone in the morning.

Squirrels rip screens, chew electrical cords and dig up flowers and bulbs to plant peanut trees.

And, if a grey squirrel gets into your suite, it will immediately go insane, poop while scrambling over a cooling pie, then head straight for the flour and sugar containers, the end result being white-out conditions. Do not grab the hose attachment on the faucet. You will miss and the two above ingredients, when combined with water, create cement.

One should simply grab what’s left of the pie, throw it out onto the deck, and, after the varmint skids after it, slam the door. This will show it you are very annoyed. They care about these things, they’re sensitive.

The critters ain’t starvin’.

Suzanne Gerard, White Rock

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